Wedding, Sand and Stillness

I could start with my mom’s wedding. Or my trip to Jacksonville a couple weeks ago. Or the group of students I get to hang out with every week, and how much they mean to me. Or the fact that I’m still enjoying my job and haven’t started growing restless yet. Or the book I’m reading right now.

The wedding, you say? Good choice.

This feels a bit silly since it was almost a month ago now, but you should know at least that it was a subdued evening--in the sense of the size and the general craziness, not the mood, which was anything but subdued. The passing storms rested long enough for the ceremony and the mingling after, with the families and a few dozen close friends wandering around the house and backyard. I can’t really talk about the actual moment, sitting in the grass with my siblings and watching our mom walking onto the patio and saying her vows, without getting all sappy. So I’ll just say that it was one of the more surreal and weighted moments of my life, a reminder that restoration is real and miracles are real and redemption is more than empty rhetoric.

I have a new Wednesday night tradition, after youth group and dinner and bringing students home, of heading out to the beach to sit and listen and wait. I’m enjoying my life right now, but it’s kind of crazy--stillness is rare, silence even more rare. So I’ve decided that a little sleep loss is worth some moon-watching and wave-listening and sand-wandering and breathing and reflecting. I bring this up now because last Wednesday I was out there thinking about my mom, Mike, new friends, words, challenges and questions, and God…and feeling a whole lot of gratitude.

I guess that’s the best word for where I’m at right now: gratitude. I have plenty of uncertainty about the long-term future, but there are enough meaningful and significant things happening in and around me that, whenever I slow down and take a step back, I can’t help but feel grateful. And excited.

A couple weeks ago I went up to Jacksonville for a few days, and my friend David went with me. I love when different parts of my life interact with each other, and letting a Bradenton friend meet the people who were my community and joy and support in Jacksonville was a really good experience.

Have you seen Inception? If not, do it.

Last night we were talking about redemption, about the idea that it’s never too late for someone to find hope, meaning, and a deeper kind of life. I want this to affect how I look at people…I want to always believe that people are capable of tremendous good when they are engaged in something outside of themselves. This idea is rooted in and dependent on a belief in a loving and compassionate God. I know that a bunch of you reading this don’t share that belief, so I won’t push it. I said it here because it’s impossible for me to talk about where I am now without bringing that up.

Something lighthearted next time, I promise. Maybe I’ll tell you about the man I met walking around my new neighborhood the other night. For now, I hope you find rest and silence and stillness. And whether or not you share the beliefs I mentioned here, I hope you are engaged in something outside of yourself that breaks your routines with depth and gratitude.

Remember love.